Calm the Chaos with Trauma Recovery Coaching
I offer two different focuses in my coaching packages. This is a description of what a trauma recovery focus with me is and what it involves to help you make a decision about the best focus for you.
Here’s what we’ll go over in this article:
My trauma recovery coaching one-on-one programs are thoughtfully designed to move you out of a place of emotional pain, drama, and chaos and move you into a place of peace, harmony, and calm where healing is accessible. Each session is customized to your specific need in the present moment.
You’ll want to choose this focus if your primary goal right now is to heal.
Once you get to a place of regulation and stability in your healing process, then you’re more ready to go the trauma-informed life coaching route.
Side Note: If you choose a trauma recovery focus and we get into a couple sessions and realize you’d do better with a trauma-informed life coaching focus or a hybrid approach, no worries at all. We can change course as needed. You’re not locked into a focus.
But for today, let’s break down what trauma recovery coaching with me involves.
Trauma recovery coaching is a holistic, co-creative partnership that supports you in your self healing process.
I purposely use the word “self healing” because you’re the one that’s healing you, not me. I’m bearing witness to your healing and supporting you in that process.
I do this by using my trauma education and personal trauma healing experience to ask the questions that facilitate the processing of experiences, making meaning of your experiences, the tolerating of emotions, and uncovering what you really want and who you really are. My education and personal experience informs how to draw out the innate intelligence your mind, body, and spirit have when it comes to healing and creating your own wellbeing.
We honor the past, focus on being present, and dream about what the future holds.
We co-regulate while in session and I provide a reliable, secure attachment example in your life.
While most life coaching focuses on external goals, such as budgeting or crushing your next project at work, for example, trauma recovery coaching is all about changing habits and behaviors. Of course, whether you’re working toward healing trauma or crushing it in your career, to change the outcome, you have to do something different, right? So, you could argue that all life coaching is about changing habits and behaviors for different results. However, when you apply this to trauma recovery, we’re talking about identifying triggers, feeling and processing deep-rooted emotions, and consciously changing how you react or don’t react when you’re triggered. In a trauma recovery setting, this also looks like self soothing, finding what grounds and centers you, and being able to envision hope in your future while knowing you’re safe in the present.
Do note that trauma recovery coaching isn’t a substitute for therapy. I am not a licensed counselor, therapist, or other form of healthcare professional. If you’d like to know more about the differences between coaching and therapy, check our FAQ section here. (Once you click, just scroll down till you see it.)
Myself and other legit trauma-informed coaches don’t diagnose or prescribe. We don’t treat mental illnesses. However, we do hold space for how you need to show up based on our knowledge of trauma, whether you have a diagnosis or not.
Holding space for someone is a great way to support healing and/or progress. Holding space is a primary function of my job as a coach.
You are not broken, no matter what you’ve been through. You are not broken even if you keep making the same mistake. You are not broken. Period.
You’re allowed to feel what you’re feeling and for your experiences to be valid, even if they’re vastly different than mine or someone who you care about.
In fact, when you’ve been through trauma, even though you may feel broken, your mind, body, and spirit are actually doing exactly what they’re supposed to do to protect you. (That was a huge revelation for me when I first started my own healing journey. It may be a huge revelation for you too, and if you don’t believe it yet, know that you can get there.)
Holding space simply means to allow feelings and being without judgement. It really just means being respectful of and present with you. If you’re the one who needs to hold space for yourself, the same definition applies. Respect yourself and allow your own reality without judgement of it.
Holding space doesn’t mean not having boundaries — in fact, holding space requires the ability to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Boundaries is a huge topic for another day, but know this:
A structured space (of your choosing) is necessary to create the life you want. Creation, which is exactly what my clients and I do together, seems like an unstructured activity because creativity is oftentimes the opposite of reasonable or logical. However, without a boundary around the act of creation, it becomes overwhelming. Once you create at one level, you can move the boundary — increase the radius of it or sides of it (depending on what shape you see it as) — and create at an even higher level. The amount of levels you can create at are endless. The boundaries enable that to be so.
In trauma recovery coaching, your creation of the life you want oftentimes happens after you get back to your inner resourceful place, reconnect your mind and body, and are able to self soothe.
When I’m holding space and structure for you to do that, it becomes accelerated.
When you’re in the thick of dealing with trauma responses and your body is pumping the cortisol or adrenaline, some days it can be exhausting. You might feel fatigued one day and the next you might feel energized and ready to go. That’s normal.
When I say I’ll hold space for how you need to show up, I mean that if all you can bring yourself to do is make it to the session but don’t want to talk about anything too heavy, that’s okay. You’re in control of what we talk about and making it to a session on a day that feels exhausting is a huge win.
In that case, I might remind you of the things you’ve identified that help ground you and be present. We might sit in silence if you want, or we can do breath work or meditate together. We can simply just talk about life if you want. Just being with an understanding person can help a lot.
Or, if you’re up for it, we might talk about the emotion you’re feeling and name it. We can pinpoint what you’re feeling in your body. Then we can visualize it passing through you and leaving your body, if visualization is okay for you. I might ask you what that emotion or sensation was trying to tell you? What’s it’s intention for you?
In this way, you’d be learning how to listen to what your mind, body, and spirit are telling you. That lays the foundation for being able to work with your body instead of against it. And when things start flowing in that way, it has a positive effect on your life and how you experience it.
Ultimately, I’ll simply bring love and kindness to the session. And when you’re ready to do more intense work on a day you feel energized, we’ll go with it.
As illustrated above, over the course of our time together, we work on mind-body connection. We also work on aligning the mind, body, and spirit so all your parts work together as the whole human you are so you can more fully experience the present moment. We do this through discussion and exercises in sessions.
Related: What to Expect in a Trauma-Informed Coaching Session with Me
I also actively search for proven and reputable products (DIY tools) outside of coaching that can assist in addressing caring for yourself as a whole. If I’ve tried something in my own healing process and it works for me, I reach out to partner with that product or service to get you deals. I think it’s important to have different options that fit a variety of budgets and healing styles. You might be more comfortable on an acupressure mat at home rather than going to a massage appointment. Or, you might just appreciate the flexibility of having a choice if you have unpredictable moods.
In addition to coaching you as a whole human and finding different levels of DIY tools, my background and education also helps me identify other healing modalities that might help.
Healing trauma is complex, and it can involve a lot of moving parts and pieces that other specialists can assist with.
For instance, even though we work on mind-body connection in coaching, healing trauma could involve relieving painful tension that’s been stored in your back for ages. Acupuncture, massage therapy, or even myofascial release could help you improve physically while we’re working through thoughts and emotions and figuring out if and how they connect to that tension.
Another example is that healing trauma also involves moving energy, even though you can’t see it. Your energy shifts as a result of perspective shifting in coaching, for example. However, you might want to help move that energy along by seeing a reiki practitioner.
Or, if you get particularly stuck in one area but we don’t think you’re at a point where you need counseling (which I’m obligated to refer you to should the need arise), you might want to try hypnotherapy to look into past life wounding.
If you’re anything like me, you’re having a lot of physical stomach issues and this could actually impact our work on you being able to trust your gut. I might recommend a functional diagnostic nutritionist who can help you start healing your gut, which can really take a beating when you’ve been under chronic stress and trauma. You’d be amazed at how healing your gut can help relieve inflammation, brain fog, and even help decrease anxiety.
These are just a few examples of how I can help you assemble your healing team in addition to your toolkit. It doesn’t necessarily have to, but it can take a village. And approaching you holistically is one of my top priorities. So if that means finding other tools and specialists who can supplement what we’re doing, I’m all for it.
To sum it up, trauma recovery coaching is a great starting point for your journey, and as part of that process, I can help you find ways to alleviate trauma-impacted areas that coaching doesn’t necessarily touch. But without coaching, who knows — you might not have uncovered that you needed that other modality as part of your self care and healing process in the first place.
Related: When to Choose Coaching for Healing Trauma Versus Therapy
When you start to manage your stress and regulate your nervous system, the chaos around you will start to settle down. This honestly takes time, and it could take a long time. Creating a habit or behavior didn’t happen overnight, so changing the habit or behavior won’t either, but trauma isn’t a life sentence.
Feeling like you’re constantly on high alert, that you’re addicted to busy-ness, you keep surrounding yourself with drama, or that you just can’t say no to others because you freeze up can get better. I promise, if you’re seeking out ways to calm the chaos, you will find them. And if you’re consistent and dedicated, things will change. It won’t be like this forever.
Once your stress levels even out and you find new and aligned ways to cope with and handle stress in the present and future, the patterns and loops you find yourself stuck in do break.
As you start to heal, your relationships start to shift too — that is, your relationship to yourself, your loved ones, your spirituality, your activities, you name it.
Stronger connection starts to emerge.
A peace and a freedom start to emerge.
And eventually, navigating tough situations becomes easier because you’ll be equipped with new ways of coping that you found on your own terms.
Questions or Comments?
Feel free to let me know if you have any questions in the comments, or you can schedule a free consultation.
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Hey there!
I’m Brandi Fleck, TICC. I’m a private practice, certified trauma-informed life coach and trauma recovery coach. All genders, sexualities, and races are welcome here. I primarily serve clients via one-on-one coaching and self-paced trauma education.
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