Natural Ways to Relieve Physical Tension at Home
Recommendations for DIY ways you can help yourself heal chronic stress- and anxiety-related tension in your body to get relief.
Do you have knots in your back? Shoulders? Neck? Legs? Do you find yourself clenching your jaw right now?
No matter how hard you try to relax, do you just feel tight and like you can’t? I know that feeling all too well too.
In addition to trauma, there are many reasons you might feel that way, including working at a desk all day everyday, a poor computer set up, not getting enough exercise, or even over exercising and injuring your muscles. I’m not a doctor, so I won’t give medical advice here, but what I will do is tell you what I use to manage the knots that have riddled my back since I was a teenager in the hope that you can find some relief at home, too.
But first, always consult your doctor if you need medical attention for chronic pain or tension related issues. This article is not intended to treat, cure, prevent, or diagnose any disease. Now, on with the blog…
For me, tension is the major side effect of stress and anxiety — it’s the physical manifestation of anxiety in my body. For so many trauma survivors, we’re disconnected from our bodies and don’t realize that what’s going on physically can tell us so much about what we need to do to heal and release the past.
At first, it might feel like your body is trying to harm you. I know I used to think things like, “why is my body doing this to me?”
The reality is, your body is trying to tell you something. It’s giving you information, out of love.
Read on to learn how to focus in on what your body is trying to tell you and then relieve the tension that results.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
Tension can manifest itself in your body in different ways. Sometimes it can feel like tightness in an area, but with no pain. Other times, it can feel like pain in another part of your body that, at first glance, doesn’t seem related to a spot where the tension resides. Pain can also occur where the tension is and could be throbbing, aching, dull, or like a muscle ache. It can cause headaches around the lower part of your head at the base of your neck or wrapped around the back of your head.
I know all of this from personal experience. Remember, I’m not a medical professional, so do talk to your doctor if you have any questions or are curious if the pain you feel is related to tension.
Do you experience tension in any other ways I haven’t described here? If so, please tell me in the comments as I’d love for your experience to help others who might be going through something similar but not know it’s tension.
I find that when I notice where tension is in my body, I typically find it in my jaw, my upper back and around my shoulder blades, and even in my feet. You also may notice knots as a result of tension in your lower back, arms, thighs, and there may even be tension stored in your core or belly area.
So it is important to intentionally check in with our bodies when we feel ready.
Because tension can cause pain in parts of the body where the tension isn’t actually at (this is called referred pain), it can be difficult to always know where the pain is coming from or that tension is the cause. That’s why it’s important to intentionally become self aware about what’s going on in your body.
For trauma survivors though, I know it can, at times and in certain cases, be overwhelming and difficult to listen to our bodies because when we do that, certain big emotions can arise.
If we have a habit of suppressing big emotions, regardless of whether we perceive them as positive or negative, those emotions can get trapped in the body. Memories stay in the body. And sometimes your body can even react out of the habit of protecting you, even if you no longer need to be protected from danger.
Muscle knots (also known as trigger points) caused from stress and anxiety are one recurring way your body tries to protect you from more injury. In fact, when they form, they’re trying to restrict movement in your body to avoid further injury. This can restrict circulation, which is needed for healing. But also, healing trauma requires movement - physical, mental, emotional, and energetic. (More on that in other blogs…)
First, you must notice where the tension is before you can start moving it out or releasing it. Two ways to do that are a body scan and exploring your body posture.
As a trauma survivor, you may or may not become evoked (a.k.a. triggered) while doing a typical full body scan during a traditional meditation. However, you can still take a moment to notice your body and how trauma shows up.
Typically, you’d start checking in with your body by simply notice it and be present with it. Start with the top of your head, move down to your forehead, then ears, nose, mouth, throat, jaw. Ask what it needs. Then check in with your neck, shoulders, arms, upper back, and chest. Ask what it needs. Then slowly move down your arms to your finger tips, abdomen, belly, lower back, hips and see what they need. Move down your legs, knees, feet, and wiggle your toes. Ask what they need or simply notice what’s happening in each location.
If you become triggered while scanning your body or for any reason you’re not ready to receive the answer to what a certain part needs, you don’t have to. A sense of overwhelm might be what lets you know you need to go slower and approach a body scan a little at a time over whatever span of time you need. You can stop at any time. You can also modify your body scan in whatever way feels safe for you.
If you’re really disconnected from your body, simply scanning one neutral part, such as an arm or foot, is an awesome step toward reconnecting with your body. There’s no right or wrong way to start reconnecting.
The point of this exercise is to become more aware of what your body needs so you can give it what it needs. When you find where tension resides, you can start relieving the pain it causes.
Simply noticing how your body is holding itself can give you immense insight into areas that need your attention. Tension typically limits motion and also can cause pulling in certain areas.
For example, is your right shoulder higher than your left shoulder? Are your shoulders upright and square or slumped over and rounded? Do you have full range of motion to turn your head to both sides and look up and down without pain? How do you stand? How do you sit? Notice what happens to different parts of your body when you walk.
Once you notice how you hold yourself, explore why things are the way they are. If your shoulders are rounded and slumped over, what are you holding there? Anything? Maybe you are and maybe you aren’t, but you can’t truly know unless you ask yourself and intentionally and honestly answer yourself.
Once you know that you’re feeling tension and where the tension resides in your body, you can do something about it.
Oftentimes, especially if you have years worth of tension built up in your body, it can seem like a fortress of knots that can never be untangled. But be encouraged. With time, persistence, patience, and consistency, as with all areas of healing trauma, you can start to untangle the knots in your muscles. It’s like decluttering. It’s an act of purging. And with that, you’ll see release and purging in other areas of your life too. Just watch and pay attention.
Now, for the tools you can use to assist in relieving tension in your body — you can use one, multiple, or a combination of these tools over time to relax more and get rid of any knots and tension that are causing you pain and suffering.
These are my DIY go-tos, and they’ve honestly done wonders for my body. They’re especially helpful when you can’t regularly get to a masseuse or spa to relax. You can use all of these in the comfort of your own home.
You Might Also Like to Read: Steal My Trauma Self Care Routine Checklist
Do please be careful not to injure yourself, however, when using these tools and practices and educate yourself on how to use these tools and practices safely.
TRIGGER WARNING: If you blush easily or are triggered by discussions of sex and intimacy, brace yourself for tip number 9 or skip it.
Now, let’s dive in.
1. Body Back Buddy
The Body Back Buddy is a self massage tool that allows you to apply trigger point (muscle knots from tension) therapy to yourself, at home. It’s a firm plastic stick with hooks on both ends, so it looks like an S. It also has knobs of different shapes and sizes at various points on the hooks to reach different parts of your body.
It has been an absolute game changer in my ability to get rid of knots in my upper back that started setting in when I was 15 and have plagued me ever since. Nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever made them go away.
When I first bought my Body Back Buddy after discovering it at the infrared sauna I go to, I was in so much pain from tension near my shoulder blades that I was having trouble functioning. I used it everyday for a week and by the end of the week, I started to feel one massive knot start to twitch. In the next three days after that, another knot on the other side of my back started to twitch. I consistently kept at it until the twitching stopped and the knots were gone. I confirmed afterwards what I learned through experience that the twitching was an indication the knots were resolving! I had never experienced this before in my life, not even with massage therapy from a professional. (Massage therapy is still amazing and valuable, but if you can't go everyday and need the consistency like I did, adding a combination of tools to relieve tension is the way to go.)
Now, I use the Body Back Buddy for maintenance when needed, but don’t need it everyday or even every week anymore. I adore it.
Not only does it help with relieving knots resulting from tension, but it also helps with fibromyalgia trigger points — this can be so helpful for trauma survivors like us!
I’m not affiliated (even though I’ve applied to be because it's so aligned with my own goals), so I won’t make any money if you buy it. But, you can buy it here anyways!
At that link, you’ll also find more in depth information about trigger point therapy, common trigger points, and fibromyalgia trigger points.
2. Acupressure with Bed of Nails
You've probably seen FB ads or something like them for other acupressure products, but it's a fact that the Bed of Nails is the Swedish original.
But in case you haven’t, the two products I use the most are the mat and pillow. The mat is a piece of foam covered in fabric with pieces of round, white plastic “nail plates” on the front. The nail plates contain little spikes sticking up out of each one. They’re sharp enough to hurt you if you use them wrong, but they’re not really dangerous, in general. You shouldn’t bleed when you lay on them. The back of the mat only has fabric on it so it can lay nicely on the ground or on a bed. The pillow is a half circle of foam covered in the same fabric with the same “nails” covering the arch of the half circle, which contours to the natural shape of the back of your neck. The bottom of it is flat and can be laid on the ground or on a bed. I prefer to use the mat and pillow on the ground, where I won’t sink in one direction or the other and can ensure proper support.
The fabric is organic, and the foam is non-toxic. There’s no toxic glue either. And, there’s even a biodegradable option that’s eco-friendly.
I've been using the Bed of Nails mat and pillow since 2012, before they were popular, no joke. I personally remember when no other products were on the market. It has helped me increase circulation, relax, and reduce pain in my back and neck.
And, I use mine every single time I meditate. I love it. I need it. It has literally helped change the course of my stress and scoliosis-induced muscle pain when I can't go get a professional massage.
When you first try it, it can get a little uncomfortable, so you can start out lying on it with a t-shirt. Over time, you get the hang of distributing weight on it and the only way to go is shirtless (with a warm blanket covering you), actually.
After you're on it for a few minutes, your back gets warm and then starts pulsing. Then, you start to relax.
Heads up, I am affiliated with this product, which just means if you use my link to purchase, I make a small commission at no additional cost to you, which helps me keep this blog going. I’d really appreciate the support in this way.
But, if you’d rather just buy it without using the affiliate link, here’s the regular link that I won’t make a commission from. The choice is yours, because I’d be telling you about this product, regardless!
3. Breath work (AKA Deep Breathing)
Remember to breathe, in general. You might find yourself holding your breath without even realizing or taking shallow breaths because you’re sitting a certain way and focused on a task, even.
But ensuring that your body is highly oxygenated is important for blood flow, and blood flow helps heal tension in your body.
You can also use breath work to be mindful of where tension is in your body. Breathwork is simply deep, controlled breathing. It requires you to be present and mindful about inhaling and exhaling. It can help you find tension and start using your mind to assist with releasing it.
Exercise:
Find a quiet place where you can sit and be still for 5-10 minutes.
Once you know where the tension lies in your body, breathe into that area or areas, focusing on one area at a time. Then visualize the calming, soothing breath swirling around where you feel or see the tension. As you breathe out, imagine the breathe dissolving it and taking parts of it away with it as it leaves. It simply goes up into the clouds and meets gold light that dissolves it and turns it into a beautiful cooling wind that soothes everyone and everything it touches.
4. Warm, Uncaffeinated Beverage
A warm, uncaffeinated or hardly caffeinated beverage is an easy way to promote relaxation in your body at different times during the day when other tools might not be appropriate to use. Several of my favorites include green ginger tea, turmeric tea, and rooibos tea.
Take a few seconds to focus on the taste and feeling you experience in your mouth, throat, and stomach before moving on to the next task. This brings you to the present moment, connects you to your body, and creates a bit of self awareness, all of which are stepping stones to healing.
5. Gua Sha Face Massager
Many times, tension will settle in your face and jaw and you don’t even realize it. This is because you might clench your jaw as you’re working or listening to someone who stirs anger or unsafety in you without realizing it.
The Gun Sha face massager is a smooth, thin stone that can fit in your hand and that forms to the natural curves in your face.
I personally use one made of rose quartz and love the feeling of it. I’ve seen others made of jade. (Both options are available for the client welcome kits)! Not only do you receive the healing properties of the stone you choose when you use it, but it also promotes lymphatic drainage and may provide anti-aging support. Just be sure that the one you purchase is real stone.
I include one of these handy little tools in the welcome kits I send when you sign up for a Life Boost or a Life Flow coaching package because many of my clients need support with reducing stress and anxiety and finding calm.
Here’s a great video demonstrating how to use one. This video also gives you care instructions for your stone.
6. Yoga
Yoga is sometimes misunderstood, especially where I’m at in the U.S. It’s not just about stretching and flexibility, although those are some great aspects of it. It’s about connecting to your body and feeling into ways you can push and strengthen yourself based on your awareness of what’s needed. It’s a practice and ritual, where you use breathe, movement, physical postures and poses, and your mind to accomplish goals and enlightenment. Accomplishing goals with your body in yoga then helps you calm your mind and spirit. It's really a holistic approach to well-being if you want it to be.
This is especially helpful for trauma survivors who need to reconnect with their bodies slowly and gently, which is key to lasting change. And, as a trauma survivor, building this body awareness over time can help you integrate new discoveries about yourself and accept different parts of yourself as you’re ready.
As you’re building self awareness, strength, and mind-body connection, you’re also relieving tension. While yoga isn’t just about stretching, stretching is a major component of it, which relieves tension on it’s own, even if we’re not considering the other healing benefits.
And, luckily for us, there’s a perfect free resource for doing this at home without having to cry or feel uncomfortable in front of other people if we don’t want to.
It’s Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. I’d be surprised if you haven’t already heard of her, because she’s been doing yoga videos for free on YouTube for a long time. But, she is an amazing, versatile instructor who covers all levels, different types of yoga, and has a ton of videos targeting specific goals and needs as well as general yoga work outs that help round out your yoga practice. She covers breathing, body postures, how to do them correctly without getting injured, and more. The camera angles help you see what you need to see too. And, her dog Benji is the cutest and really laid back each time he makes appearances in her videos.
Be sure to start with her Yoga for Beginners playlist, to gently ease yourself into practice.
Here’s a particularly helpful video from Adriene targeting your upper back, where tension oftentimes lies.
Here’s another great video targeting your neck and shoulders, another area that’s typically rife with tension.
7. A Rolling Pin
I don’t mean for baking, either. When your feet hurt, simply place your rolling pin on the floor and roll the arch of your foot over it, helping to massage and stretch the ligaments and muscles in your foot. Some people use a tennis ball or a frozen bottle of water for this as well.
When you have a lot of inflammation in your body, which is oftentimes the case with trauma survivors, you can develop conditions such as plantar fasciitis, and the rolling pin in combination with stretching your calves (and wearing shoes with good, firm support) can help relieve the pain over time.
This might sound weird, but weird can be good, so…
I keep a rolling pin under my night stand that I can just pull out and roll my foot on quickly before bed or when I wake up, when needed. I don't use it for baking anymore. If I end up needing one for baking, I’ll just go get another one strictly for food use.
Personally, I ended up needing to wear a boot for six months to heal my own plantar fasciitis that was chronic for two years prior to that, but as I started working on eating a non-inflammatory diet and controlling my stress and anxiety, it hasn’t come back. More on stress and anxiety further down…
8. Orgasm
I don’t think I have to say much about this one except if you’re not doing this regularly, whether on your own or with a trusted partner or partners, when it feels safe to do so, start. Safely. Orgasms promote relaxation, are a great coping strategy for stress, and promote hormonal balance, which assists with relieving inflammation in the body.
Sometimes trauma survivors engage in risky behaviors, such as unsafe sex, as a coping mechanism. That’s not what I’m talking about here. Your orgasms must be risk free to fully experience the stress and tension reducing benefits.
What other DIY ways to relieve physical tension at home have you tried or want to try? Tell me in the comments.
Even though this article is primarily about ways to relieve tension at home, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention a few professional alternatives you can add to the mix if your efforts at home don’t completely help you. Depending on how bad pain from tension is, you may want to look into various practitioners who can assist with relaxing and moving circulation to the tense areas to promote healing.
You Might Also Like to Read: Holistic Modalities for Healing Trauma
Healing trauma and all its many areas of impact can take a combination of multiple approaches and those may change as you progress along your healing path. So, remember that no one tool or treatment may be the silver bullet. The key is in finding the right combination of support.
Massage
As mentioned earlier, massage can be extremely beneficial in helping you relax and working the knots out of your muscles. I typically opt for Swedish massage, but have also experienced hot stone and deep tissue massages from various professionals. The best ones by far are the ones who aren’t afraid to do scalp massage and move my arms around to stretch the muscles between my shoulder blades and spine. If that’s where your tension resides, be sure to ask the spa you’re booking at or the practitioner you're booking with if they do those kinds of things.
Myofascial Release
I’ve learned through education from my favorite naturapth, Dr. Catherine Clinton, that trauma has a tendency to get trapped in our fascia — the connective tissues holding our skin to our muscles. When that connective tissue is tight and restricted, movement to different parts of our bodies can be restricted and this causes pain. Pain can show up in areas that aren’t even close to where the actual trigger point is.
So finding a physical therapist or massage therapist who can help with myofascial release or teach you how to perform myofascial massage on yourself as well can be helpful. Combine these professional services with at-home use of the Body Back Buddy and the Castor Oil Fascia Massage Roller Kit in the list above and I think you’ll eventually get knot (trigger point) relief.
Physical Therapy
I haven’t personally had physical therapy before, but I’ve had loved ones go for a procedure called dry needling. This is similar to acupuncture, but is like the Western medicine version of it from what I can tell. They put a needle in your trigger point to try and promote circulation in your muscles. I hear it's not as bad as it sounds — ask to your doctor about referring you to physical therapy if you’re having chronic, unexplained pain.
Acupuncture
I've also never personally done acupuncture either, yet. But, I know many people who've experienced the benefits. Acupuncture is the placement of small needles along energy points in your body to remove blockages and assist with other healing goals. Tension can be considered a type of blockage.
What other professional alternatives have you tried or want to try to relieve physical tension? Tell me in the comments.
There are tons of tools on the market and inexpensive things you can do at home that will help you start relieving tension right away.
There are also a variety of practitioners who can help you treat knot muscles and tension.
The most successful approach for someone who’s had a lot of tension stored over the years and has chronic muscle knots as a result is likely a combination of several different tools and practices at home paired with professional help that’s done consistently, at least for a while.
But, tension and resulting pain will keep coming back if you don’t do something about the underlying issue of stress and anxiety in the first place.
So what ways can you start reducing your stress and anxiety?
(I’ll have a blog to help with this in the future too!)
And, if you’d like support in reducing stress, anxiety, or tension yourself, I’m here.
Questions or Comments?
Feel free to let me know if you have any questions in the comments, or you can schedule a free consultation.
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Hey there!
I’m Brandi Fleck, TICC. I’m a private practice, certified trauma-informed life coach and trauma recovery coach. All genders, sexualities, and races are welcome here. I primarily serve clients via one-on-one coaching and self-paced trauma education.
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